The town of Spectre

Today - we made the drive to Millbrooke Alabama. We had heard we could possibly gain entry to the old remnants of Spectre (From the film Big Fish). The town was built and left standing on private property on an island off the Alabama River.  The owners gladly let us in and talked with me for a bit.  The Island was used for Jennys house (no longer standing), the town of Spectre, and the enchanted forest. Most of the water scenes were filmed here as well. Today - the only inhabitants are the snakes :(

I really love the film Big Fish - easily in my top 10.  The lessons we learn in life are often too late to fully enjoy.  The town of Spectre is so unique. Does it represent heaven or hell? Are we in a hurry to get somewhere - just to arrive too soon? Do we build our lives to a certain point - only to be leave them behind? In doing so we get to make a choice whether to rebuild those positives or not.  

In the end - I love the message of Father and Son.  It's okay to embellish, to exaggerate, to have fun. I look fondly back at the stories my Father would tell me on our car rides together. Some of which were exaggerated, but that just tells me he really enjoyed those stories!

I often catch myself focusing on the day to day - instead of slowing down and enjoying the days like today!

Weekend Getaways

I made a promise to Natalie that we would get out every weekend and do a family activity. It is important to get to know our new home, and see the fun activities it has to offer. So far we have:

Desoto Caverns

Much like Timpanogos Cave (Without the hike), the cave was fun to walk around and remind us of something in Utah. The park also had rides for the kids and it was extra fun due to the fact that Grandpa Jim and Grandma Maureen were in town.

Historic Civil Rights March Trail

Much like the Pioneers in Utah, this is as historic a part of American History Birmingham has ever been part of. The famous bombing at 16th Street Baptist Church, along with the march to the courthouse that was victim of so many sufferings - This march was eery and a good reminder of how far we have come as a nation in such a short time.

Ikea/Cabbage Patch nursery in Atlanta

My oh my - I could go on and on about how cheesy this was.  We made the 2.5 hour drive into Atlanta a few weeks ago and stayed the night. The next morning we visited the Cabbage Patch Museum/Shop. It took everything possible to keep my composure and let the girls have their fun. We even witnessed Mother Cabbage give birth multiple times (Once she was dilated to 2 leaves apart). The girls loved it and that is what counts.

Everything is Falling into Place

After living in hotels for the past 3 weeks, everything is starting to fall into place.

Prior to leaving Utah, with no guarantee of a proper living situation or guarantee of when work would start producing a steady income, I reflected back on some of the hardest times in my life.  I realized that times would get the hardest when I was negative. I made it a goal to remain positive (albeit pessimistic), and NOT get frustrated when things didn't go as planned.

I have made a concerted effort to "put on my big boy pants" and get out of my comfort zone.  To smile and say hello to everyone we pass and is looking back at us. To set an example for our kids to follow. We are going to be asked questions - we already have. Our religious choices are different, our family is different, we talk different etc… The way Natalie and I react and respond is how our children will learn to respond as well.  

I am amazed at how much our children have adapted our mannerisms. I noticed before but this life change has given me the opportunity to spend SO much time with them.  

Keira - Keira is AMAZING! Her intellect on the gospel and humanitarian concern is LIGHT years ahead of mine.  The other day we unknowingly drove through a rougher part of Alabama looking for a flea market. It was unreal and embarrassing. People are living in filth, houses are little more than rubble, and the majority of businesses are Gentleman clubs.  My first thought was "Get out of here". Keiras 1st thought was "How come nobody helps these people? Why don't the rich people share their money so these kids can have nice things?" That was a difficult conversation. 

Andrew - Andrew is a FUN kid. He and Keira have become quite good friends. She said the other day "I'm jealous of Andrews future wife." How Come? "Because he is just so fun ALL the time!" He really is. He is so proud to be at all day school. Everyday we hear how much he loves school and the friends he is making.

Faith - Faith is devastated without her Brother and Sister all day. She sulks for about 1-2 hours after they leave for school in the morning.  She so badly wants to be at school with them. I have grown a special bond with Faith. She is my little Daddy's girl.  She loves putting on my hat, sunglasses, playing football and being sure to get my attention.

Everything really does happen at the time it is suppose to. I know that is hard but every hard challenge I have gone through was for a reason. I have no reason to ever doubt Gods plan for my family. I have enjoyed being able to spend so much time with my family before our lives get turned upside down. We have been blessed with so many individuals that have helped make this happen. 

It appears we will finally have our house. We are set to close on Friday. We will paint over the weekend and our stuff arrives Monday. Just in time because it appears like we will be taking over the 3 Subway stores the following week. 

Like I said before - everything is starting to fall into place!

Photos from our Road Trip

A sample of the road trip with our Dads.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/q88kyyegp0hfvra/Alabama%20Road%20Trip%20-%20720p.mov

The road trip wasn't that bad…I just wouldn't do it again.

The Positives:

- Spending time with our Dads. 

          

        It was neat to be able to spend some quality time with our Fathers. It reminded me of cleaning offices with Dad when I was a teenager. We had a chance to "just be" and this will be a time I will look back on and appreciate.

- The view of the Country

       We went through 9 States in 4 days. We saw corn, more corn, and then some more corn. We also saw Gateway Arch in St. Louis. The highlight was visiting Adam-ondi-Ahman again.  This truly is one of my favorite places on this earth.  Watching the kids run around and enjoy the landscape - highlight of the road trip.

The Negatives :

- Wyoming

       Jeep - 4 Rock chips. Honda - One rock chip. Thanks Wyoming.

- Long days = Whiny kids.

      The kids in all truth were awesome.  It was simply a lot of long days. By the time we made it to Alabama, they started rebelling having to get into the car again.

CD Store Nostalgia

While out today school shopping for the kids (On a tax free school clothes and supply weekend!), we came across a used CD Store and stopped in.

There is something nostalgic about browsing through a CD store that is lost in todays digital age.  The instant I started browsing, memories of countless hours from my youth instantly rushed back.

Graywhale CD, Raunch, Heavy Metal Shop…etc

The instant excitement of seeing that familiar art cover and the exhilaration of trying to find the elusive title or bargain. I immediately came across an old NOFX vinyl and the rush was on. I started scouring the shelves for "Must have" c.d's that, in all likelihood, I already have access to on Spotify.

While grounding myself to only browse, I came across a few that are sentimental to me.

The hardest part was the $2.99 bargain bin (or 5 for $5). I came across a couple worthy of my $1, when all the sudden a self titled gem stood out! Nerf Herder, S/T.

A true classic and likely in my top ten albums all time. (Okay…at least top 20)

Although I already have this masterpiece, it truly should never be in a bargain bin…right? Shouldn't I at least pay the $2.99 to simply save this CD the dignity it deserves?

The angel on one shoulder, a devil on the other - ripping at me to make my choice. In the midst of my decision making, Natalie notifies me Andrew is repeatedly perusing the poster display and informs us "he wishes he could (in his lifetime) kiss all the scantily clad ladies in bikinis - EVEN if they had regular clothes on".

It is at that moment I am brought back to reality. Even though $2.99 will likely be spent on a soda, and nothing in the grand scale of life, I am at a point in my life where I do not need to spend $2.99 to obtain a 2nd (or maybe even 3rd) copy of a CD.

Maybe another day… but not today. But thank you for the memories anyway.

Why?

Why now? Why Alabama?

Good questions. 

I consider myself a very blessed individual. I have an amazing family that would do anything to help each other succeed. I have a professional career that is unheard of for someone my age.  I feel content with my relationship with my Heavenly Father and yet I do not feel right. 

In fact, I haven't felt right for quite some time.  

I could continue to raise my family status quo, settling for content or I could continue to seek an answer to my unrest. 

This has not been an easy decision.

I can count on one hand the most life altering decisions I have made.  All have involved Natalie, and guidance from the Holy Ghost.  

1.) Rejoining the Church

2.) The heartache and joy of growing a biological family

3.) The heartache and joy of  finding my family 1/2 way across the world

4.) The decision to leave everything my family has ever known, and move to Birmingham Alabama.

When I look back on the adversity I have gone through, I always find a blessing at the end.  

• Falling away from the Church at a young age, I learned what I didn't want or need in life. I learned what my limits were, and pushed myself to a point I never wanted to return Spiritually and Mentally. 
• After multiple failed attempts of having a Child, I treasured her so much more once she finally made it through. 
• The pain of finding out I would likely NEVER have any more kids biologically was heartbreaking….until our hearts were led to adoption. 
• The brutal 18 months to get Andrew home were unbearable… until Faith entered our lives.

I have quickly learned that when Heavenly Father places an obstacle in my path, rather than complain and feel sorry for myself, I can rejoice in the thought of the treasure I will unearth at the end.

I was inspired to find a different place for our family to grow.  A place where we could come together as one and rely on each other in our darkest moments. 

That would not have happened in Utah. Utah was too easy. Too much support. Too much Love. 

When a job opportunity presented itself in Birmingham, my immediate reaction was "No". Or quite possibly… "Hell No!" (sorry mom). 

But I prayed, and things started to feel good. 

We visited, and things started to feel better.

Natalie had a dream….and things felt perfect. 

Birmingham Alabama was the place for our Family.

I do not know what challenges we will face, but I know there will be many. We will be forced to defend our Family, to defend our Faith, and grow or break because of this decision. This is not a decision we have made lightly, but one we have accepted.

After 4 days alone, I have already seen a difference in Andrew and Faith. They are not stared at. They are not pointed at. They are one like the rest of us. The diversity here is perfect for our family. 

I am sure we will get some negativity, but for now…things have been bliss.

Playing at Oak Mountain State Park Beach

Playing at Oak Mountain State Park Beach

"Faith is something greater than ourselves that enables us to do what we said we will do. To press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid. To keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is uncertain." Gordon B. Hinckley

Sweet Home Alabama

That's right! 

We made it! 

In an effort to not only keep others updated of our family adventures, but to also keep a "journal" to look back on. I will attempt…. yes attempt…. to keep frequent posts of our journey on this page.  It will not replace our Facebook photos, or more common ways of communication, but provide a more personal, in depth view of our days. Hope you enjoy.

Celebration!!!!

Honey - I'm coming home!!! and the 2 little ones are coming with me! Everything went really well at the Embassy today. The visas will be ready for tomorrow afternoon. The only bad thing is the flights are all booked now for Natalie to come and help so we are looking at delaying the return 1 day to the 23rd. This will make for a very tiring Christmas and Christmas Eve but it will be so worth it!

Thank you all for your prayers, positive re-inforcement, and well wishes. They have all helped. We will be sure to update everyone as to when we will be arriving home. Thank you all and God Bless!

Father Christmas

Sunday - Today we celebrated Christmas at the Orphanage. We had a big party with family and friends of the Orphanage. The house mothers decorated the whole yard with balloons and toys for the kids to play with. They had a Christmas Tree in the corner surrounded with Ball Pit style balls the kids loved throwing around. They found a cheap play slide and swing secondhand at the market as well. Auntie Sylvia brought bubbles for all the kids. Andrew loved having the bubbles fly in his face as he would try to pop them. He looked the happiest I have ever seen him.

We played musical chairs with the adults.I won of course! and I took out 2 chairs along the way. Plastic chairs are not good for musical chairs! The children played next- Cutie Faith won! (With some help of one of the house mothers).

Father Christmas then rode in on a Boda Boda. The kids were so excited. Natalie and I had bought each of the kids a small gift for Christmas so we had the orphanage wrap them up and give them to the children. Each of the boys got a small car and the girls got their own dollies. Father Christmas even had a gift for me - 2 mugs shaped like a Giraffe and a Zebra. After dinner I gave everyone some American Candy we brought in. They absolutely loved it! The saltwater taffy was their favorite! It was a good night.

Monday - Today is judgement day. I meet with the Embassy in about 7 hours. Today I find out if my children are coming home with me or not. Fingers crossed!

A better day

Today was really rough this morning. I woke early and was really feeling sorry for myself. I had a good conversation with Natalie though. I got some extra sleep as I wasn't needed anywhere until about 3:30 this afternoon. This was a good thing. The directors of the Orphanage took me to a Christmas play - African style. It focused on the 3 wise men and how they spread through Africa reporting the birth of Christ. There were about 200 cast members and it was wonderful. We sang hymns such as Angels we have heard on high, and silent night. There were probably 500-600 people in the audience and it was pretty special. It really helped get my mind straight.

I took 2 firsts today in Africa - I rode a Boda Boda (Motorcycle taxi), and I ate Grasshoppers. Neither were as scary as I expected. The Grasshopper was actually pretty good. Very crunchy, kind of like a sunflower seed shell.

Thank you for all the comments and positive thoughts. They have helped. Loves to all.

Homesick as Homesick can be...

Amazing the things I take for granted. What I would give to be laying in my bed next to Natalie right now; to hear Keira running around the house and doing her art projects. It is so sad and lonely being in a place you really don't know, trusting people you barely know, being threatened by people you don't know, and loving people you will get to know.

I went to the Embassy this morning (after waiting 1 1/2 hours for my ride to show up). I was told to come in Monday afternoon for the formal interview. If things go well, Visas will be ready on Wednesday. Good thing right! Not quite - I am scheduled to leave Tuesday night and there is no way I am missing Christmas with my family. I love Faith and T very much but it is different. I will not miss Christmas. Not knowing until Monday doesn't even allow time for flights to be adjusted. If they are able to get Visas done on Tuesday, that would be great. If not - I will fly home and return with Natalie in January to bring the kids home.

We knew it was a long shot just coming out. The fact I missed Wednesday really hurt any chance of getting the kids home for Christmas. Atleast now we will know exactly when the Visas are ready and will, have no problems when we return. I am content with this.

I know not what Gods plan is, but I know that he loves me - and that is enough. Money is Money - we will make more. I am tired of stressing, and crying, and doubting, and getting frustrated, and being apart from family.

My life will change, Andrew will need ALOT of help. He doesn't communicate, or even crawl. It will be a tough transition. Natalie and I are ready for the next stage in our lives to begin. If that doesn't happen until January - it is for a reason.

Please give loves to my girls. Then hug them again for me. Keira has a school performance this evening and I am so sad I will be missing it. Loves to all. T

A productive yet frustrating day

Today has been long and hard. It has been long in the fact that I awoke early to begin making contact with the Embassy around 7:30 am. By 10:00 I was unable to get through and no e-mails were returned. I convinced the Orphanage directors to take me to the Embassy so I may plead with them directly. This worked and I now have a 7:30 am appointment tomorrow morning at the Embassy.

Now the frustrating part - I do not know how much of an "interview" it will actually be. Now it is being termed an "informal meet" to see what we need to do to proceed. I have no clue what to make of this. I have been at the orphanage from 3:00 - 10:00 pm tonight spending time with the kids.

It is at this time where I get especially Homesick though. While I enjoy spending time with my kids - it's not like they are really mine yet. Someone is always watching, eyeing you, judging you etc... I spend most my time imagining I am home with my girls, listening to Keira laugh, watching natalie smile. It makes it really hard being here alone.

Depending on how the Embassy goes tomorrow - I may just go a little crazy!!! Was this trip all for nothing? I guess I will find out tomorrow. Until then it is sweet dreams of my girls...

Another journey - Another Problem

Could this adoption get any crazier??? Detroit was 10 degrees when we landed yesterday. Next plane all set to take off when they can't get the cargo doors to shut because they are frozen!!! 3 hours later we are finally on our way to Amsterdam on a new plane. The problem is I have now missed my connecting flight and can't get another one until tomorrow!!!

I am now stuck at an Amsterdam hotel for the next 18 hours! I have e-mailed the Embassy and they will see what they can do once I do finally arrive. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

And the Ruling is.....

Email received from Lawyer this morning:

"Dear Trent,
We are pleased to inform you that the order for legal guatdianship was made today in your favour for both children. I spoke to the Judge and he regrets the delay. Its his first posting, about one month so far.

Blessings

Dorothy"

We also received a phone call about 2am from the agency representative in Uganda. It was a bad connection but we were able to hear the ruling.

We don't know what is next other than getting the passports and then meeting with the Embassy. The Embassy could be as quick as 2 days or as long as 2 months. We have an e-mail out to them to get an idea of what we are looking at. We are still likely looking at January for travel.

It is still wonderful to hear that we are done with the courts and now are officially guardians of 3. The actual adoption takes place in the states.

Thank you all for your comforting words over the last month. We are blessed with amazing friends and family.

No Children for Christmas - Judge delays again

If you ever think the United States Judicial system is messed up, think again and look at Uganda. The judge has delayed the ruling another week. This basically wipes out any chance of getting the children home for Christmas. No reasoning or excuse was given why - just another delay. We will now have to cancel our Embassy appointment because we cannot apply for passports for the children (which are required for the Embassy) before we have a Guardianship ruling. These take about 2 weeks if you "know the right people." Because of the holidays the Embassy will likely reschedule in January which means we miss the tax credit for 2010 - another huge set back. I have lost all patience with this process. We started this journey over two years ago. I just want to sit back and scream, cry, vent, yell, hit something etc...

This was probably the worst news we could have received today. I wish that these judges would just put the children first for once.

Ruling Day - Another Delay.....

Another Court date and another Delay. The judge has requested that a Probation Officer confirm the status of Andrew of Faith, that they are actually living in the orphanage and that they came to the orphanage in the ways described in our application. The Lawyer seems to think this can be done quickly. We are still awaiting more info back from her. Hopefully another ruling date for next week.

It just gets so frustrating. The judge has had this information for 2 1/2 weeks. Why wait to drag everybody in for a ruling if he knew he wanted this. Why not just call the lawyer and say "I need an affidavit from a probation officer confirming the living conditions."

Thank you all for your prayers and fasting. It means so much to know we have such wonderful friends and family. We will keep you all up to date.

Coming Home

We won't receive our Ruling from the Judge until November 11 so we are heading home. We have been able to work everything out with Airlines, Hotel, orphanage, etc... We don't have to be present for the ruling and we can then have the orphanage reps apply for the childrens passports. We can then fly back and make our appointment with the US Embassy for the childrens visas.

We want to surprise Keira on Friday so please do not say anything to her. Thank you again to everyone for helping out and making her time special while we have been away. We are sorry if you had made plans and won't get to follow through with them.

We leave tomorrow night and return Friday afternoon.

Love to all

Things we are Greatful for:
Trent - pasteurized milk, and pizza delivery (Dibs on Papa Johns Friday Night!)
Natalie - wonderful friends and family, Organized Motor vehicle transportation

Things we have learned:
Trent - Don't try to barter if you are white - no point :(
Natalie - Good people are good no matter their race, religion, ethnicity, or so on...

Finally a Judge!

Apparently the 3rd time is the charm. We finally met with a judge (well we just sat there and looked pretty while our lawyer met with the judge.) Andrews grandmother came in for the hearing and it hopefully made clear any issues wth Andrews relinguishment. We presented cases for both children and then were given a date for the ruling - November 11th!!!

So, now we have decided to return home since we don't have to be back for the ruling or the passport application. We have missed K greatly and we know that the process has happened like this for a reason. We are making arrangements to change our return flight now and not sure when we will return. Likely this weekend. We will then return just after Thanksgiving once we know that the ruling is in our favor and we have received the passports.

Thank you everyone for your support and understanding. None of this could have happened without wonderful friends and family. Love to all.

Another Court heartache

Court has been delayed - again. This system is so extremely frustrating!!! We were originally scheduled to have court on Friday. Court was cancelled and delayed to today. We were never told that they also changed our Judge. The new judge was not in today. Our lawyer left town on saturday and left our cases in charge with her associate. Whatever happened there was no communication between our lawyer and the courts to confirm judge, time and which court.

We showed up as instructed to the High Judge this morning. We were only 1 of many cases to be heard. The judge started off by basically lecturing all about adoption and all of the mistakes the lawyers have made. He was extremely frustrated with potential parents not taking the time to bond with the children prior to adoption (basically refering to the Russian girl that was sent back because she was possessed by demons). He stated that had the mother taken the 3 years to bond with the child first she would have known it would not work out. It is probably better we did not have him hear our case.

We now have a hearing scheduled for tomorrow at noon. Atleast that is what we hve been told. We will reserve judgement until a judge actually talks to us.We are very sad today! We are very homesick and frustrated. We miss Keira so much it hurts. We just want to cry.

Food - Ugandan Style!!!

A very nice and relaxing day today. We stayed in our lodge until about 2:00 and then went to the Zoo. There were not alot of animals but it was very open with very little fencing. Luckily the Lions were tired!!! The Crocodiles were very hungry though and we got to watch them feed. It was awesome!!!

We then went to the beach and enjoyed a lively atmosphere. When they asked if we would like a whole fish - We didn't know they meant a WHOLE FISH. It was extremely tasty though. I am very proud of Natalie for stepping out of her zone.

Tomorrow is court - Hopefully. Be sure to keep checking our pictures on Picasa as we update them daily. Love to all and please send us e-mails or messages about back home. We are very Homesick.

Things we learned today:

Trent - Natalie can suck it up when she has to, (See picture above)

Natalie - What it is like to be in the minority

Things we are grateful for:

Trent - Soda that is bigger than 10 ounces and doesn't need a bottle opener.

Natalie - Paved Roads